Biggest Change Yet

“Life is just one damn thing after another.”
~Elbert Hubbard

Wow.  That’s all I have to say, really.

Last year’s post was probably the most depressing one I have come across so far in November.  I was so sad and I was lamenting over how my friendship was beginning to fall apart.  I commented on how literal this quote felt at the time.

Ironically, this quote feels comical to me today… The way it was intended to be, I think.  Life is really just one damned thing after another.  And, it’s kind of funny, really.  Maybe it’s not always funny when you’re in the midst of the crap (like I was at this time last year), but it does’t get kind of humorous after a while, I think.  and, maybe that’s what keeps us going… that funny thought that “something else” just happened when we were least expecting it.  I don’t know if that makes any sense.

Life would be pretty boring if everything that happened was predictable and expected.  At least I think it would be…

Maybe that’s what I tell myself to make me feel better about my crazy, crazy life…

Shakespearean Comedy

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”
~Charlie Chaplin

From The Old Blog, November 19, 2014

Can we define “Comedy” and “Tragedy” here?  Because based on what I remember from my Shakespeare class, a tragedy means everyone dies and a comedy means that everyone falls in love and gets married…  I don’t know how they convert.  Oh wait, except usually in those comedies there is some huge mix-up or screw up, or miscommunication that eventually gets sorted out.  Maybe that’s it…

Regardless of the definitions and whether or not you read “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” at some point in your life, I think this quotation offers some hope that in the end, it will all work out one way or another.  I’d like to think that in 10 or 20 years (I will most definitely need that much time) I’ll look back on this time and laugh at how “silly” I was for making such a big deal out of everything that’s happening.  Maybe not.  Or maybe I’ll just need to add more wine to life and then it will become a comedy… or maybe a tragic comedy…?  Either way, I’m pretty sure I’m in Act III, and maybe even Act III.II of some unknown number of sub-acts.

I’m happy to say that I have emerged from the worst part of this Shakespearean Comedy that I call my life.  As I’ve seen in this little month-long exercise of going back and re-reading, re-posting, and responding to my posts from last November, I am much better off now than I was a year ago.  I feel like I can start to see the end of this chapter of my life (likely known as the medical education chapter) coming to a happy, or at least amicable, ending.  I still have a long way to go, so I’ll assume I still at the end of act III, or maybe just beginning act IV, but at least things are going in the right direction.

Together in Pieces

“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”
~Suzanne Collins

Image Source: ldsperfectday.blogspot.com

Over the past year, I have slowly been working on putting myself back together.  In last year’s post on this day, I spoke about making an attempt to be more positive and figure out a way to start moving forward.  Here is an excerpt from The Old Blog’s post from last year:

As I child, I remember my mom always getting so angry when something fragile would break because she could never glue it back together without it looking perfect.  This gave me the idea, from a young age, that you are never as good as you were before you were broken.  Anytime I got in trouble or got hurt in some way, I just imagined that it made me less “valuable.”  When I came across this Japanese idea of accentuating flaws – because it makes something more beautiful – I suddenly felt so much less “broken.”

I took the small pieces of myself that I had left and assembled them into a new life.  This really started to materialize in the new year, when I made multiple goals that I wanted to meet – most of which I did accomplish by the mid point of this year.  I am proud of my accomplishments – I ran a half marathon, I made great progress on my goal to read 12 books this year (I read 9 whole books, and I have 3 books on the go… the year still isn’t  over yet…).  I made some new friends, joined a taekwondo club, where I have attained a green belt (that is on hold now while I grow a tiny human), and I’ve got another year of residency completed and under my belt.

The most important part of all of this, though, is that I haven’t been pretending that everything is always okay.  I’ve admitted to difficulties and mistakes – and those are the gold seals that show up in this new and re-formulated life of mine.