“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
~Johnathan Safran Foer
I almost forgot that this day, November 27, used to be meaningful to me. On this day, I guess 6 years ago now, I met the person who became one of my closest friends for a short time. Last year I was sort of “celebrating” this milestone. But up until I re-read the post from this day last year, I ha forgotten the importance of this date.
I admired her so much. She embodied everything I thought I wanted to have in a role model and a friend. She embodied everything I thought I wanted to be. We became good friends for a short while, but then she pulled away. I was hurt so badly. Sometimes I still miss her, but most times I wish I could just stop thinking about her. I catch myself wondering if there is still a “what if?” But then I bring myself back to reality.
I let myself be happy for a brief time by taking risks, living authentically, and being vulnerable. Unfortunately, this happiness didn’t last and the loss of that friendship caused me a great amount of sadness. The question then becomes, what that brief moment of happiness worth the sadness? It is really hard to know for sure.