“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
From The Old Blog, November 18, 2015:
This quotation makes me think of the scene in “Forrest Gump” where Forrest asks Bubba to lean up against him so they could support each other while they slept: “you lean against me and I’ll lean right back up against you and that way we don’t have to sleep with our heads in the mud.” After a few of these nights of sleeping upright against each other, the rain suddenly stopped, the sky cleared, and the stars came out… And Forrest thought of Jenny.
I couldn’t find a great image of that scene, but I found this small collage of pictures from the torrential rain during movie’s rendition of the Vietnam War. One day it just started raining and it never ever stopped. There was sideways rain, and downwards rain, and rain that even seemed to come from below. But no matter how much it rained, it did finally stop and since his head wasn’t stuck in the mud, Forrest was able to see the stars.
Last year I wrote about how I was stuck in the gutter – not necessarily looking into it, but stuck in it. As a result, I was not seeing, or even looking for, the stars. This year I am happy to say that I am not in the gutter. I don’t even feel like my feet are dragging in the gutter. I may not always be looking at the stars, but at least I am closer to them this year than I was last year.
On additional difference from last year, as well, is that I focussed much of this post on telling my friend that I admired her for always being the one looking at the stars. Knowing what I know now, I don’t know if I would say that is always true. I’m not sure exactly what I mean by saying that; perhaps I just don’t necessarily think that this old friend was always doing the right things or making the right choices. That could just be my hurt conscious talking after she decided to delete me from her life, but I think it’s more than that. I think I used to admire her and set her on a pedestal that was unrealistic. After having time to reflect on everything that has happened and what her role was in my life, I realize that I had many ideas about her that were unrealistic. Anyhow, this is again, a digression from the point.
The most important fact here is that I have spent much more time in the past year out of the gutter and looking at the stars.