“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.”
Over the past year, I have slowly been working on putting myself back together. In last year’s post on this day, I spoke about making an attempt to be more positive and figure out a way to start moving forward. Here is an excerpt from The Old Blog’s post from last year:
As I child, I remember my mom always getting so angry when something fragile would break because she could never glue it back together without it looking perfect. This gave me the idea, from a young age, that you are never as good as you were before you were broken. Anytime I got in trouble or got hurt in some way, I just imagined that it made me less “valuable.” When I came across this Japanese idea of accentuating flaws – because it makes something more beautiful – I suddenly felt so much less “broken.”
I took the small pieces of myself that I had left and assembled them into a new life. This really started to materialize in the new year, when I made multiple goals that I wanted to meet – most of which I did accomplish by the mid point of this year. I am proud of my accomplishments – I ran a half marathon, I made great progress on my goal to read 12 books this year (I read 9 whole books, and I have 3 books on the go… the year still isn’t over yet…). I made some new friends, joined a taekwondo club, where I have attained a green belt (that is on hold now while I grow a tiny human), and I’ve got another year of residency completed and under my belt.
The most important part of all of this, though, is that I haven’t been pretending that everything is always okay. I’ve admitted to difficulties and mistakes – and those are the gold seals that show up in this new and re-formulated life of mine.