Throwback – Frozen Time

Do you ever wish you could just freeze a moment in time? Maybe not to prevent time from moving, but just to preserve that moment and go back to it as many times as you want. I imagine it would be like having a favorite song and playing it over and over again, whenever you want. It wouldn’t be the same as taking a picture and looking at it whenever you want – it would be more than that. It would involve preservation of the thoughts, the emotions, the feelings… everything that was happening in that moment. It would be like re-living the moment and re-interacting with the people, and re-experiencing those emotions.
I don’t have this desire too often, but occasionally I will be in a moment that I just wish I could re-live an infinite number of times. I try to play it over again in my head and let myself feel the emotions that came along with it. Unfortunately, the feelings fade and the memories become vague. A conversation dwindles into a sentence or two, and even that eventually becomes nothing more than the faint memory of a friendly smile. Finally, there is nothing left to feel and nothing left to remember so I am left waiting for an experience to replace that lost memory. When it finally comes around again, I swear that I will preserve it differently and make it last longer.
Almost always, I want to freeze the feeling of being cherished; the feeling of being cared for and nurtured and being made special. And the more I think about it, the more I realize that it’s not the actual moment that I care most about. Instead, it is the desire to revel in those feelings as much as possible. It’s like I’m trying to make up for lost time, or trying to fill up a vase that as been neglected for too long. I don’t know if I can ever catch up with this emotional short fall – and maybe that is the reason I am always afraid to lose the moments that matter the most to me. 

Originally published on The Old Blog, August 2013

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2 thoughts on “Throwback – Frozen Time

  1. Time is funny it plays games with your memories. The older I get the more memories I remember. I can’t tell you what I ate yesterday but I could tell you about the beef stew my grandmother made, with cornbread and hot tea with milk on cold winter evenings. The smell the taste and the thick richness as I lift the fork to my mouth. I think it’s because I have time to reminisce. I don’t have children I to provide for or the demands of a job. Back when I did I don’t remember if I could remember like I do now. I think memories are save for old folks to pass onto their grandchildren.

    Liked by 1 person

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